


We Can Work It Out

by Anotherlostblogger



Series: I Don't Want to Sleep Alone [3]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: And figuratively, Because of Reasons, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Post-Death in the Family, but sort of did, some daddy kink still, working out (literally)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-02 16:32:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16790587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anotherlostblogger/pseuds/Anotherlostblogger
Summary: Ryan and Shane learn what it means to do life together.





	We Can Work It Out

**Author's Note:**

> This will definitely make more sense in the context of the rest of the series, but read on if you like! 
> 
> Thanks again for all of your continued support, lovely people. <3
> 
> (Title inspired by Afterlife by Arcade Fire)

Shane stood in front of the mirror for a long moment, allowing himself to take it in.

He'd always been a string-bean, but he ran track in high school, and with work and exercise in his early twenties, he'd gained some definition. Now, in his early thirties, he could see signs of his metabolism slowing down, especially around his softening middle.

He told himself he wasn't really the sort of person who cared about that sort of thing, but right now, wearing a black v-neck and gym shorts, he was beginning to want to back peddle.

"You almost ready?" Ryan's voice came from outside the bathroom door.

"Uh, yeah," Shane said, and he grabbed his deodorant, putting on an extra layer, just in case.

Ryan cracked the door open and came in.

"Oh hey," Ryan said with a big shit-eating grin, giving him a once-over. "Look at you and your Addidas." 

Shane shifted his feet, feeling slightly self-conscious.

"I don't know about this," Shane blurted and Ryan's grin disappeared.

"About your shoe choice?" 

Shane didn't dignify that with a response. "I don't think I'd make a good gym partner."

"What?" Ryan's voice was this side of a whine. "Why not?"

"I don't know if I should subject the fitness-goals public of LA to....all this.... before seven in the morning," Shane said, gesturing at himself in the mirror.

It really didn't help to glance at Ryan in comparison. Tiny demigod. 

"Oh, come on," Ryan said like he thought Shane was just trying to come up with an excuse to stay in bed—which, admittedly, he had tried earlier, but Ryan was very persuasive.

It must've been something about the look on his face that made Ryan not push it, instead, he stood behind Shane in the bathroom mirror, wrapping his arms around his middle. It should have made for a sort of embarrassing junior prom setup, with how gawky and awkward Shane was in Ryan's arms, but his heart warmed anyway.

"I think you're cute," Ryan said, and he kissed Shane's bare arm. Shane sighed. Cute was....alright. Cute was junior high crush. Cute was okay. 

Ryan's eyes flashed with something like mischief.

"What are you, scared?" Ryan asked.

Shane knew what he was doing. He should've known better than to fall for it.

"Race you there," Shane said, and he squirmed out of Ryan's grip, making a grab for his work bag and change of clothes before racing for the door.

Ryan whooped and gave chase.

✬✬✬

Twenty minutes in on the elliptical and Shane was having doubts again.

He was sweating, like, way too much for a machine that literally was just mechanized hiking, and meanwhile, Ryan had finished his jog on the treadmill nearby and was making his way over to the weights. 

While Shane was sweating like a pig, Ryan glistened prettily, his towel hung around the back of his neck like he was a boxer, and really, Shane thought, eyes traversing Ryan's shoulders-to-waist ratio, he could be. 

In that jersey, it was hard not to stare at his arms, _harder_ anyway, than it usually was—well, when Ryan wasn't wearing a form-fitting t-shirt, or a long-sleeved shirt, or a sweater, or...basically when he was wearing anything that wasn't a trash bag.

Ryan was only several rows of machines in front of him, and Shane felt it might be his personal torture to watch him straddle the bench and begin to do reps. 

The thing was, Ryan was ripped. Like, he knew this, like, he made fun of him for it, way before they ever slept together—it was hard not to notice it once Ryan began to put on all this muscle—but as much as he told himself he knew all this, he'd rarely ever seen him in action. Not since the Test Friends days, and even then, they were usually all put through the same torture together.

Now....now he had season tickets to the gun show, starring Ryan's back. 

He...did have a _back_ , gosh, now he knew what that meant.

Jesus Christ, just watching the way his muscles rippled and moved as he lifted the elephant-sized weight above him was enough to make any self-respecting man-loving person's throat run as dry as the Sahara.

Shane was so distracted he almost didn't notice that he'd hit his time on the elliptical until it forcibly began to slow down, beeping for him to begin to 'cool off'.

That was enough of a wake-up call, you'd think.

Shane slunk by to refill his water and to find some less hulk-looking level machines, just quietly at one end of the gym. He figured he might actually get a chance to concentrate on something other than his not-quite-boyfriend, but after ten reps with this back-press thing, Shane found himself eye-to-eye with a smiling Ryan Bergara. 

Shane had his earpods in, blasting Arctic Monkeys that seemed the right sort of horny alternative vibes for this session, but before he could pause anything, Ryan just gave him a thumbs up and skipped off to a rowing machine nearby. 

Shane had a sinking feeling that Ryan wanted to work out next to him. 

That was both adorable and... highly distracting. Now he was able to get a close-up view of what Ryan looked like pulling back all this dead weight, again and again, this determined look on his face, his hair flat against his forehead, and Shane didn't need to take out an earbud to know he was grunting. 

Shane stopped with the back-press and half-waddled over to the next weight machine, one that had its back to a certain somebody.

✬✬✬

By the time 7:30 am rolled around, Shane felt like his whole body was throbbing. He was badly in need of a shower, but he thought he might just stay in there for another hour too, just to let the hot water run over his poor abused body. 

Shane jolted as he was suddenly thwacked on the back, and he almost snapped at Ryan until he turned and saw the happy look on his glowing face. 

"Great way to start the day, huh?" Ryan asked him and Shane was too tired to tell if he was kidding.

"Sure," he said vaguely and Ryan laughed warmly.

Unlike at his university gym, this one actually had private stalls, and after being surrounded by a stupid number of tan and beautiful bodies this morning Shane was grateful for that. Taking his bag out of his locker, Shane stepped into one stall and closed the curtain behind him. 

He'd only just hung up his towel and had just started to take off his shirt when the curtain rings pushed back again and Shane startled to see Ryan trying to enter it with him.

"What are you doing?" Shane asked, eyes wide, and Ryan hesitated, a confused look crossing his face.

"Sharing...a shower?" Ryan asked, and he had no right to look that sweet after everything he put Shane through this morning. 

"But there's more than one here," Shane said, and even as he said it, he knew he was being weird about this. 

Ryan stared at him, but his resolve crumbled just as quickly. 

"Okay," he said finally, shouldering his bag. "Okay, fair enough."

And he left Shane alone.

The drive could have been weirder, but once they got their coffees, Ryan was back to being his cheery morning self. 

The day went on like just any other day, and by quitting time, Ryan was already standing next to Shane's desk with his work bag, messing with something on his phone. 

"Are you...waiting for me?" Shane asked, taking one ear pod out. 

Ryan blushed a little. "Yeah, I mean. Did you want to maybe, get something to eat?" 

Shane felt something clench in his chest. "You know, I have a few things to work on still...I'll catch up with you tomorrow."

Ryan blinked but nodded, beginning to back away, "Oh, yeah. Definitely, definitely."

"If that's...cool with you," Shane began, but Ryan was already halfway towards the door. "Sure, I'll see you tomorrow."

"See ya," Shane said, but the door was swinging on its hinges.

✬✬✬

Shane woke to the sound of his phone vibrating loudly on his nightstand. 

Groaning he tried to turn it off, only to realize it was a phone call. It was 6:20 am.

"Ryan," Shane rasped, and he heard something shift on the other end. "Shane, are you seriously asleep right now?"

Shane sat up. "No," he said, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes.

"Then get your ass out here, man," Ryan said. "Wakey-wakey." 

'Oh, god,' Shane realized with dawning horror. He wasn't going to escape today's gym sesh after all.

At 6:25 am, Shane loped towards Ryan's car with maybe a little bit of an attitude. 

He got into Ryan's car in a huff, fighting for his right to be grumpy even as Ryan said, "There he is," in the most irritatingly sweet way. 

"Woah, your hair is doing some interesting things today," Ryan said, reaching out to touch it.

"I can get a hat," Shane said darkly. 

"Nah, I like it," Ryan said with a grin, and he pulled out of Shane's driveway.

"You know what I think we need this morning?" Ryan asked, turning down the street. "Jamba Juice!"

Shane couldn't remember the last time he had a smoothie. "That could be nice," he said begrudgingly. 

"That's the spirit Big Guy," Ryan said, and at a red light, he twisted in his seat to lift, a drink carrier with two Jamba juices.

"Oh," Shane said like he had just performed magic. He brightened a little bit more.

"I got...a Protein Berry for me, and a Banana Berry for you," Ryan said, grabbing the pink one and Shane took his purplish drink.

"Cause we're the Berry Boys," he guessed and Ryan brightened.

"Forever and always."

✬✬✬

Today's workout was both easier and harder than yesterday's. 

He still had a front-row seat to Ryan's absurd workout, but today he had somehow managed to leave without his ear pods. 

Luckily he had his giant-ass soundproof headphones for work, but those weren't exactly prime work-out gear. 

So this meant that when he pounded the elliptical machine and went to the weights he had nothing but dance remixes of pop songs to listen to, blasted over the speakers.

Well, that, and Ryan's grunting on the rowing machine.

The thing was, he's now heard Ryan's grunts in a very different context, and well, he's only human. 

He gets a good half-chub on a thigh-press like some sort of pervert and has to high-tail it back to the bathroom before anyone calls security.

✬✬✬

Work goes smoothly, in spite of how sore Shane has begun to feel. He twists this way and that in his chair, but when he looks to Ryan for sympathy Ryan just glows with some misdirected pride. 

He has his bag over his shoulder and is ready to take an Uber back when Ryan catches up to him. 

"What, were you trying to sneak out right now?" Ryan asks him with a wide grin. 

"No," Shane says, face burning with the lie. 

"Oh, okay," Ryan says and he bumps his shoulder playfully, making Shane wince.

"Lemme give you a ride back," Ryan insists, and Shane can't really argue with that.

Ryan doesn't try to convince him to go back to his place, and Shane's grateful for that. He's not sure he has the strength to deny him anything as Ryan carefully puts his arm on the back of Shane's seat to look behind him as they pull out of the parking lot.

Eugene was right, Shane thinks hopelessly as he stares at Ryan's bicep and forearm, and the hard line of his neck. People do look sexy backing up.

It's a relatively quick drive, with Disney music playing all the way. "I'd invite myself over, but I gotta go visit my grandpa in the hospital," Ryan tells him suddenly as the Wall-E overture plays in the background. 

"Oh," Shane says, suddenly at a loss. He knows how close Ryan is with his family. "That sucks, man."

"I think he's going to make it," Ryan says, not looking at him. "He's a tough guy. He's had cancer before."

"Yeah," Shane agrees, without anything else to say. "Of course."

They get back to Shane's place, and he opens the door, "Okay," he says, unfolding himself from his seat. He slaps the door as it shuts. "Thanks for the ride."

Shane hears the window unroll mechanically and then Ryan is scooting into the passenger side.

"C'mere," Ryan says, and Shane hesitates.

"Come here," Ryan insists, smiling wide, and Shane takes another step closer.

"Lower," Ryan says, and Shane sighs but lowers his face until he's practically bent in half in front of the window.

Ryan gives him a smooch on the lips. It's just one grade above a peck, but enough that he's smiling in spite of his exhausted body.

"Same time tomorrow?" Ryan confirms, and Shane knows he'd say yes to anything after that.

"Same time tomorrow," he says dopily and Ryan beams.

He's so fucked.

✬✬✬

Two weeks. Two weeks of getting up, going to the gym, and working out with Ryan on the weekdays.

He's managed to talk his way out of weekends so far, but who knows how long that'll last. 

The only problem is, of course, he's sort of begun to avoid hanging out with Ryan outside of work.

He works out with the guy, sees him in all his demi-god glory, and maybe he doesn't want to see all that when he's in his downtime. When he's just in a t-shirt and sweatpants and lounging, allowing popcorn crumbs to collect all over his shirt. 

The thing is, Ryan's a popular guy. He has a tightly knit friend group of people he's known since high school and college in the OC/LA area, not to mention his extended family, so he's not exactly hurting for socialization anyway.

So Shane tells himself he doesn't have any reason to feel bad about this.

Ryan knows he can call him for any....bad nights if he has them, and so far so good. 

✬✬✬

"My grandpas dying," Ryan says when he picks Shane up on a Wednesday, and Shane does a double take. Ryan looks stoic and withdrawn, and Shane feels that bubbling awkwardness in his chest.

"I'm so sorry," he says and Ryan takes a deep breath, stopping at a red light. "Yeah."

✬✬✬

Thursday night he gets a text somewhere after midnight: 

_My grandpa just died. I'm not going to make it in to work tomorrow._

Shane fumbles to think of something to say: _Of course, man. Do you need anything from me?_

Another buzz, a vibration from Ryan: _I'll let you know._

✬✬✬

The funeral happens on the following Thursday. 

Shane wasn't sure that they'd keep up their routine but Ryan seems to need it, so Shane goes without complaint.

Ryan asks him quietly if he'll come, and even though he never met the man, Shane puts on his best suit and attends the service.

There's a mixture of stoic somberness and teary traditionalists in attendance, and Shane feels every conservative eye on him when Ryan takes his hand. He takes a breath and holds on tight. 

✬✬✬

Shane takes him from the reception after an hour of miserable socialization and brings him back to his place where he forgets his self-consciousness and any awkwardness that's been hanging over them recently and takes off his clothes and fucks him good and hard over his bed in the twilight. 

Sometimes it's better not to think at all.

✬✬✬

The next morning they get up and go to the gym on reflex. 

Shane's beginning to almost like the routine, he thinks, until afterwards Ryan pushes back the curtain and tries to get in the shower with him again.

"Are you...seriously protecting your modesty right now?" he asked, and Shane looked down at where his shirt was still half-on, where he was covering his chest.

"No," Shane said, but he didn't drop the shirt.

Ryan narrowed his eyes. "Tell me you want me to shower somewhere else, and I'll go."

For a moment Shane wanted to, he really did. But he also didn't want things to be even weirder on the way to work.

He dropped the shirt. 

Seemingly satisfied, Ryan began to undress too, and Shane turned on the shower.

He'd just stepped under the spray when Ryan crowded him in against the tile and covered his mouth.

Shane's heart thumped in his chest. 

"Do you remember the part where I said I love you?" Ryan asks in a hushed voice, and Shane can only gulp.

He remembers it. A whisper in the dark.

Now Ryan whispers to keep his voice from carrying, Shane knows, in the echoey room, it's only just masked by the water hitting the tile. 

Shane nods dumbly, his eyes wide, even as the spray of the shower slowly drenched him from head to toe.

Ryan seeps every ounce of heat in his body in the slow sweep of the eyes he gives Shane now before he leans in, and upwards real close to say, "You know I love every part of you, too."

Shane feels his face heat. "Ryan," he says, in a hushed voice behind Ryan's hand. 

"Shhh," Ryan says, and Shane shouldn't feel such a thrill at that but he does. 

"Let me show you."

There are several thoughts that fly through his head in succession as Ryan drops to his knees in the gym shower. 

'Are you insane?!' Followed by: 'People could hear us!!' And finally: 'Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,' as Ryan takes him into his mouth. Shane bites his thumb, to keep quiet, and when he comes it's with a soft groan, drowned out by the pitter-patter droplets from the shower spray.

✬✬✬

Shane floats all the way to work, and if Ryan looks smug, Shane lets him have this one. 

✬✬✬

They have their last episode of Unsolved to film, and it's gonna be a doozy. Ryan is psyched for their first ever housecall, and Shane is admittedly a little excited for it too. They know and like Hannah, and they trust her. She's not gonna try and bullshit them for views, and if it just so happens to mean that they'll get to sleep in an actual modern-day house instead of some dingy, spooky spider-infested corner of hell, all the better.

Ryan and the research team are going pretty deep on this one because on the flip side, it's not exactly a spooky location, so Ryan wants to make sure they do their research and don't just waste their time on this.

Of course, that means they end up bringing in another "professional": AJ the Psychic. 

Through no fault of his own, Shane has a cold by the time the episode rolls around. 

Ryan frets over this at first, because Ryan is a huge baby when he's sick, but Shane just pumps himself full of Dayquil and turns up ready for whatever the evening can hold for him.

So maybe that wasn't the smartest idea, but he knows he comes off as a weirdo most days anyway, no matter how many times Ryan tells him tonight he has a "weird vibe". 

He still manages to keep him from freaking out with AJ's constant confirmation of spookiness by making him laugh, so Shane counts that as a win, baby.

Nevertheless, the Ovulus is one spooky boi, and as funny as it is, it still manages to get Ryan good enough that he has to go outside for a minute to catch his breath.

Shane really hopes they aren't going to call it a night on this one: it doesn't feel any spookier to him than anywhere else they've been, but before he can go outside to check on him he sees that AJ go there first.

Whatever AJ is telling him has made Ryan go as pale as a ghost.

Shane may be a little high on cold medication, but he's sober enough to want to fuck a dude up for willfully making this harder on Ryan than it's gotta be. 

He marches his way over there, prepared to be the living Bullshit-O-Meter that he's gotta be.

"Evening gentlemen," he says with false cheeriness, "accidentally" flashing AJ in the eyes with his chest light. "Everything ok?"

"He just told me the last words I told my grandpa," Ryan says, and Shane isn't sure if Ryan might faint or burst into tears, but either response is totally unacceptable. 

"Wow," Shane says, and he fixes AJ with a look that he hopes conveys the full wrath of his unspoken, 'What the hell, man?'

"I just felt this presence," AJ says. "Like a connection to a brother, like, a phone call," he says, and Ryan nods, eyes wide as lanterns.

'Jake,' Shane thinks faintly. Jesus.

"I think, I was told just, to you know, give you comfort, to know he's in a better place."

'Who, his brother, or his grandpa? Give me a break,' Shane thinks angrily, but Ryan's eyes are brimming with tears.

"Thank you," Ryan says, and Shane holds up a hand, makes a little lasso-ing gesture towards Teej and the crew. "We're gonna take five," he calls, and he wraps Ryan to his chest. He doesn't look back up again until he's heard AJ's steps disappear in the gravel back towards the house.

✬✬✬

The rest of the ep runs smoothly, even as they have to split up to sleep for the last hours of the morning.

Nothing eventful happens after that, but Ryan looks a typically exhausted wreck by the time they leave the next morning. 

Shane takes him to his place, feeds him eggs and toast and then crawls with him into bed and holds him close.

They sleep most of Sunday away.

✬✬✬

It's five or six pm when Shane wakes up again, and Ryan is lying half on his chest, playing with his t-shirt.

"You hate working out with me," Ryan says, and its croaky and sweet, and Shane feels his heartbeat thump just under his head.

"No I don't," Shane says instinctively, but Ryan frowns up at him until Shane breaks.

"I don't hate it," he says. "Exactly. Um. Not anymore."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Ryan asks. "I mean, for a while there I thought maybe you just wanted us to go back to...that maybe you just wanted to be friends."

Shane swallows. 

"And if you're going to tell me its cause you're not swoll enough," Ryan threatens and Shane has to laugh.

"It's...I don't know," Shane says, mind still full of cottony sleep, "You intimidate me."

"I intimidate you," Ryan echoes, looking at Shane like he's finally lost it this time.

"Yeah," Shane says, not backing down.

"You've seen me almost wet my pants on several occasions," Ryan says. "Like, you've seen me scream at 'the wind' for years, and I intimidate you?"

"Now, wait a minute-"

"Oh no," Ryan says, barrelling right along, and he sits up and maneuvers himself so he's straddling Shane's chest. 

"You've fucked me on several mind-blowing occasions, like, real game-changing fucks, you know that," Ryan says, "And I even....like, I've even called you Daddy in bed, but _I_ intimidate you?!" 

Shane is fairly pink now, knowing he should be sheepish, but he's not backing down. "Jesus, yes, Ryan, yes."

"Why?!" 

His eyes are wide and imploring, and Shane feels helpless beneath him, helpless to do anything but tell the truth.

"Because you're.... _you._ I mean, for fuck's sake, look at you."

Ryan looks down at his t-shirt like it holds the secrets to the universe, and looks back up. "What?

"Don't you think its torture for me to...to be around you, looking like.... _that,_ and then, I'm just...Ryan, you're beautiful and talented, and young and funny and..."

"Oh my god, are you seriously having a mid-life crisis right now?" Ryan interrupted laughingly, turning pink. "You're thirty-three, not fifty.

"But-"

"You're acting like I found you off some sugar daddy website, and not like you're, you know, my best friend," Ryan exclaims, and Shane doesn't know how to respond to that.

"Oh, Mr Madej," Ryan says, batting his eyes. 

Shane frowns in what is meant to be a stern way, but Ryan leans in and kisses his nose.

"If this is about the 'daddy' thing, I don't have to do that anymore," Ryan tells him in a playful whisper, "old man."

Shane growls and rolls them over in bed so that Ryan is breathless and giggling beneath him.

Shane nips at his neck, and Ryan moans.

"Off, off, off," Ryan chants, pulling at his shirt, and Shane hesitates but caves, taking it off in the dim light of his apartment.

He wants to turn back all of the attention on Ryan, but Ryan stretches over and turns on the side lamp, and Shane almost cringes away.

"I don't think you understand," Ryan says, sliding back underneath him and running his hands down Shane's back, "Just how sexy you are to me."

Shane flushes, but Ryan is far from done.

"Like, I know you've had to hear me rant about Jordan, and Cavill, and...Adam Driver and shit, because they're the top of their game," Ryan says, looking deep into his eyes. "But trust me when I say that you're the number one guy I want to sleep with."

Shane doesn't know how to do respond to something like this, so he tries to make a joke: "You're telling me if Tom Cruise was here right now and offered to fuck-"

"If Tommy Cruise was here," Ryan says, a grin splitting open his face. "I'd let you watch."

✬✬✬

Shane takes his time worshipping Ryan's body like he's wanted to since the beginning. 

He kisses every inch of him, taking his time kissing each muscle, mouthing there, feeling the power vibrate beneath his teeth.

Ryan is melted and pliant by the time he tells him to roll over.

"Yes, daddy," Ryan says, sounding blissed-out and a million miles away.

Shane kisses his back, feeling out his shoulders, and each bump and divet in his spine until he gets to the swell of his ass. 

Shane can't help it: he bites each cheek, hears Ryan moan loudly into his pillowcase and push his ass back.

Shane spreads him open with two hands, pressing thumbs into the muscle and flesh, as he buries his face in and begins to eat. 

"Oh, god," Ryan says, and he grips onto the bed, grabbing a fistful of duvet with one hand. "Oh fuck."

Shane licks, and licks again, until Ryan is almost crying for it, leaking all over his mattress. 

By the time he's worked him open, by the time he's left beard burn, rubbed all inside the delicate skin of Ryan's thighs, and deep inside Ryan's cheeks, Ryan is gasping and sobbing for release.

Shane slicks himself up, and takes him, one arm hooked under his chest, to feel the "Guh, guh, guh," of Ryan's grunts and groans reverberate inside his ribs as he fucks him into the mattress. 

"Daddy, daddy, please," Ryan sobs, and Shane takes him in his hand, and Ryan comes all over it, all over everything, squeezing, clenching around his cock.

Shane comes with a soft groan, filling him up, filling him up, filling him up.

✬✬✬

After some half-hearted wipes down with kleenex, they might've fallen asleep for maybe twenty minutes before Ryan wakes him.

"I'm hungry," Ryan whines, and Shane laughs, and lets himself be led from the bed.

They sit at Shane's kitchen while the pasta boils, and Ryan kicks his feet on his stool.

"I was...beginning to think that maybe I was too much to handle," Ryan voices out of nowhere, and Shane turns to him, lets him speak.

"I mean, I'm kind of...a hot mess," he says with a self-deprecating laugh. "I mean, my life is kind of...you've seen it."

"I've lived it," Shane corrects, but as Ryan rubs his forehead he knows that was disingenuous, and takes it back.

"No," Shane says. "I mean, I'm not going to say...that I'm not scared of any of this." 

Ryan nods, but he looks like he's waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"I mean, I love you," Shane says. "And...that's...just saying that is kind of a lot on its own."

"Yeah," Ryan says, biting the inside of his cheek. "Yeah, I know."

✬✬✬

They're eating when Ryan brings it up again. "Can I tell my family about us?"

Shane blinks. "Uh," he says eloquently.

"I mean, not, like, all of the...explicit bits," he says in a rush, laughing. "Not like, that we're fucking."

But even that had its own nervous energy too. 

Shane hears the words that go unspoken: 'We're not just fucking, right? We're not just fuckbuddies? Friends with benefits?'

"What were you going to say?" Shane asks, even as he hears his own inner voice yell, 'Coward, you coward.'

"I was going to say we're dating," Ryan says, and he lifts his head up. "I mean, not that we're really going on dates, we've kind of...rushed past that," Shane feels that reference to his avoidance issues lately and winces, "but we're boyfriends."

"Ryan," Shane says in a sigh, and Ryan stops eating. He's just staring at his bowl now.

"Ryan, I'm sorry."

Ryan closes his eyes. "If we're...like, if we're moving too fast," he says, "... please."

"What?"

"Please," Ryan whispers. "I don't...I don't want to stop this."

"Ryan, baby," Shane says, a nervous laugh creeping out of his throat, and he puts his pasta down and takes Ryan's hand. "Ryan, no, you got it all wrong."

Ryan risks a look at him, and Shane wants to kiss the frown off his mouth. 

"Ryan, I've been a dick," Shane says. "I've been lazy, and...not just about the gym."

That gets him a little smile, but Shane isn't done.

"This...is work. All of this. Its work, and its...scary, and I've...just let things slide, and I'm sorry."

"That's okay," Ryan says in a soft voice, but Shane shakes his head.

"I want to date you," he says. "I want to go on real dates with you, I want you to tell your parents, and anyone you like."

Ryan's eyes look misty, but Shane can't look away.

"I want every part of you," he says, and he knows Ryan feels the same. 


End file.
